Always on My Mind

Written by: Collette Cottingham

 

She missed him today. Unsure why, maybe because the wind blew East instead of West. She tried to shake the feelings tearing slowly at her heart.

She ran a mile down a hill and around a corner, it was still there. She soaked in a hot bubble bath, yet it was still there. She picked up a book and thumbed through the pages. The pain of needing him was still there.

She could avoid it no longer. She had to release the pain. She closed her eyes and pictured him, brown eyes and sandy hair.

She opened her eyes, the split level home on Diamond Street looked just as she remembered. Your typical house for 1974. Screams from the backyard broke her stare.

Turning the corner of the backyard a little voice called out, “Mommy.”

She embraced him with tears flowing down her cheeks. “Mommy misses you so much.” She looked in his eyes and kissed his face all over.

He gave her a sweet smile “Silly momma I just saw you in the house.”

“Yes and that is far too long.” She stared at him as he drove his toy tractor through the dirt. “You are always on my mind. And maybe I didn’t hold you all those lonely times and I guess I never told you I’m so happy that you’re mine. So many little things I should have said and done. I just never took the time. But you were always on my mind.”

“Mommy why are you sad,” he wiped her tears with his precious muddy hands.

“I am not sad anymore. I am happy, because I am here with you. I want you to remember I always think of you.”

“Okay mommy, do you want to run my digger?”

“Of course”

After a few minutes it was time to go. She would soon be calling him in to clean up for dinner. As she pulled back from the scene she looked down on him. “He is such a blessing, thank you for him.”

Back home she looked in the mirror, mud lines ran down her face. She decided not to wash her face.