Whoa, Whoa, Whoa, Merry Christmas!
Written by: Leni Sosa; Permanence of Wings
Jackie Frost had sold Mount Crumpet after purchasing it from the Grinch. Her father had forbid her to go. Now she wished she’d listened. The South Pole was the same old thing…only she was homesick.
After what happened, she had decided that she needed a new start where no one knew her. Had she been less impulsive, she would have come to her senses and realized with all the North Polers heading down for a break, leaving her old life behind would be impossible. Now she had a two-year lease on the property so she couldn’t just take off. She wasn’t speaking to her father yet, and she hated the thought of admitting he had been right.
So there she was, in the middle of her pub, taking care of a bunch of weary North Polers, some of whom clearly had no idea before they arrived that the South Pole was colder than the North. Clary, the elf she found utterly annoying, never ceased to amaze her. “What’s happened? Where’s the surf and sand? Did you do this, Frost?!” It took everything for Frost to stop herself from kicking the elf in the teeth.
When she sees Santa wandering in shit-faced, she knows it’s going to be a long night. Blitzen and Donner are stumbling all over the place. With Blitzen blitzed and Donner done, it’s a miracle they made it to the South at all. The three of them take a seat at the bar.
“Hey, Santa. Where are the others? How did you get here?”
“How else? On my sleigh. Who knows where the hell they are…I left them behind. They need to chill and shut their traps about ‘duty’.”
“You shouldn’t be driving in this condition, big guy. And it’s Christmas Eve! You have a job to do. Come on. I’ll take you home to the Mrs. Maybe she can sober you up…I’m running on empty…need to refuel if I’m going to spin a good wind for the four of us to get there. Give me 15 minutes.”
“No. I’m staying right here.”
“No, I’m taking you home. You two, stay where you are. You’re clearly in no condition either. Don’t encourage him. In this town, we don’t fly drunk. Santa, you’ve got the kids counting on you.”
“Ah, no one takes me seriously anymore. Not even the kids. That stupid Jingle Elf is everywhere, though! Parents moving this lifeless doll around and the kids are all ‘Santa who?’.” A nice-looking winter fairy walks by and Santa lifts his head up to take a good look. “Whoa, whoa, whoa, baby!”
“Hey, cool it. Get yourself together, man. It’ll die off. You have staying power.” Rory, the cook, calls her over. When she returns from the back, Santa is gone and the roof starts to shake. Frost hears the jingles and hooves, and she curses Santa. She’s got to tell him to stay off the damn roof.
She can hear him. “Come Donner and Blitzen! Let’s go find the rest of this sorry lot. Whoa, whoa, whoa!”
