Acute Attack

I sit. The sky is falling all around me. But I sit. My feet are firm against the ground. There is the Pain, of course. There is the Pressure. And I squeeze my eyes shut until they hurt, for I smell Fear. There are the questions: How long until my body gives in? How much more can I take? How much time do I have?

Yes, the sky is falling all around me. Bombs go off. Structures wiped out from the explosions. Fighter jets shot down by the enemy, making that horrible sound before the crash. Shards of glass embedded in my skin, concrete particles filling my nose. I think I got hit in the head with something. I am so cold.

And I can’t hear a single voice, but I can hear the piercing ring. Heightened emotions, drowning thoughts. My heart pounding, my head spinning. It’s all so loud, it’s deafening and I have lost my voice. I am dead weight. And then I am a balloon. So light. Too light. Am I fading?

And then it comes. Distant thoughts, whispered feelings…carried in a wind that fills my lungs. And so I know Pain, Fear, and Pressure are only unwelcome visitors I have to embrace. “Come and go as you please. You know where I am.” Every visitor will be well-received and I’ll be unburdened. Leaving the door wide open does that. Then Silence – she shuts out all the noise.

So I take a deep breath and let it out slowly. In through the nose and out through the mouth. In through the nose and out through the mouth. This moment is mine. But it’s that Stranger following me around like a shadow that grabs my shoulders and tells me to get back up. You know the one. And I can feel my arms and legs, and find myself again. I open my eyes, dust myself off, wipe the blood from my forehead, pull a shard from my arm, and get to work. There’s a sky to lift and much to build.

Written by: Leni Sosa; Permanence of Wings