High School Confidential

 In Permanence of Wings, Today's Feed

When I was in high school I thought I was in love with two boys: the quintessential stoner and a preppy whose name I can’t even remember.

I obviously wasn’t in love with either of them … that position actually belonged to a boy whose name will remain unmentioned! I was in denial.

When I look back now I can say that I had many reasons to like the stoner. In fact, the only thing troubling about him was that he smoked way too much dope on a daily basis. The preppy, on the other hand, was cocky, arrogant and I don’t know what I was thinking.

Maybe in those days when other girls were swooning over a guy, you sort of assumed there must be something to it. Well, there wasn’t anything to him at the time and fortunately for me I grew out of that phase quickly.

One day I was standing almost smack in the middle of the cafeteria with some friends at a table. I was standing and they both entered from opposite ends of the cafeteria.

I stupidly panicked, slipped on liquid that landed on the floor from someone’s juicebox or coke can or whatever. I hit my head hard and landed on the ground. No one at the table actually noticed what happened. They were looking the other way and if anyone at a table close by noticed they didn’t approach.

A friend of mine, a big athletic guy, walked by and saw me on the ground on all fours. He said, “What are you looking for?” I told him not to worry but he said, “No, I’ll help you.” The thing that came out was … “My contact popped out of my eye.” It was a lie I told from being brutally embarrassed. Believe it or not, it happened to me once in a while when my eyes got too dry so it wasn’t entirely ridiculous to me at the time.

My friend not only got down on the floor to help me but he proceeded to get the group I was with to assist and called people over to help.

I magically found the imaginary contact. I said, “found it”. He looked up confused and said, “Where is it?” I said that I had put it back in my eye. He said, “Without rinsing it?” I said that it was fine. He looked even more confused and told me that I shouldn’t do that and it was dangerous. I was just glad that the search for a non-existent contact had been called off!

I spent a week wondering if my crushes had noticed but if they did, they never showed it.

I believe this happened the same year I pronounced ‘invalid’ like a bad ticket instead of an immobile or fragile person in the middle of English class and received roaring laughter in response. Ah, well, I killed every assignment and test so ‘screw ’em’ was what I said to myself at the time. How I wish I had the luxury of being embarrassed now because it is a rare occassion. Well, it isn’t.

I have made a fool out of myself repeatedly since! Now I just don’t care in the slightest!

Written by: Leni Sosa

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